Every time I go see a movie I start chucking popcorn at the person beside me after about ten minutes. I flip TV channels compulsively. I keep about 15 different browser windows open when I surf the net. And why do I do all this? Because I have the attention span of a particularly dimwitted housefly.
Personally I blame MTV.
But no matter what the cause, the fact is that no one single thing not named Natalie Portman can keep my attention for more than 10 minutes. Even playing online slots. Now you’d think that playing something where you could potentially win thousands of dollars would be enough to keep my eyes to the front. But no, not really. And I know there are many of you out there just as fly-brained as me.
What I Do When My Online Slot is On Autoplay
So I thought I’d share with you a few of the strange and mundane things I’ve done in the last few weeks, while an online slot machine spun away on my computer on Autoplay. Here goes:
- 35 push-ups
- Smoked a cigarette
- Cooked a tray full of McCain Superfries
- 25 crunches (like a sit-up but more annoying)
- Got a guilt trip over the phone from my Mom for not visiting her in almost a year
- Eaten a tray full of McCain Superfries
- Watched my favorite hockey team lose 5-1 to the worst team in the league
- Tried (unsuccessfully) to memorize what cards I should split in Blackjack
- Written blog posts about online slot machines
- Decided to become a vegan (true story)
And here’s a couple things I have not done while an online slot machine spins away on Autoplay on my computer:
- Found a job
- Surfed porn (Laptop doesn’t have enough RAM to do both, but still)
- Been knighted by Queen Elizabeth
Most of our slots feature Autoplay. Find an online slot to play.