I have an obsession with free things. I am a big supporter of free trade, free-dom, and of course (my favorite) free money. It’s a condition, an illness perhaps, but I’m too cheap to see a doctor about it. Anyone know of a good free clinic?
Luckily for the readers of this blog, my obsession makes me constantly think of the best ways to get money (some more practical than others). Here I have complied a list of my top ten favorite places to get free money. Enjoy!
10) The Tooth Fairy– While this illusive little pixie has to be one of the most generous fictional creatures in the world, she is notoriously cheap. Over the years I have lost all of my baby teeth and maybe a few more. I’ve made a total of $8.50, and I stopped getting money after I was around 10 or so. What, teeth lost in hockey fights don’t count?
9) Fountains– That’s right everyone, throw your change into that fountain. Those nickles are great for the slots.
8) Congress– Lately the US government has been giving out hundreds of billions of dollars in bailouts to companies that have 1) spent money irresponsibly and 2) have accumulated huge debts. Other than the company part, I think I fit all of the requirements.
7) Game Shows– A lot of people have probably heard of the movie “Slumdog Millionaire”, where a poor orphan in India grows up and ends up winning a million bucks on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”. I’ve seen shows like this where you have to answer a bunch of questions, and then you win something. Too much work if you ask me. That’s why my favorite show is “Deal or No Deal”. Pick a briefcase, a model opens it, you win… Free Money!
6) Church Donation Plates– Ok, its definitely not the most ethical route to free money, but the church is just going to give the money to poor people right? Cut out the middle man.
5) Inheritance– Why does Paris Hilton have money? Daddy is rich. While I would have skipped the drugs and the sex tape part, you have to admire her tenacity as she rushed to get rich and famous. Instead of racking up the DUI’s, I would have just waited for Pops to kick me down some cash.
4) Mathew Lesko– This is the guy that you see on late night tv commercials dressed like The Riddler from Batman, screaming how you need free money. While I like his style, you need to buy his book in order to find out how to get the free money. If anyone knows in which library I can find this, please let me know.
3) Sell Your Body to Science– Do you think testing on animals is ok? Just wait until you’re the guinea pig. Side effects include temporary blindness, extended puberty, and Andy Dick. However, you will be a couple thousand dollars richer.
2) Americas Funniest Home Videos– Do you fall down a lot? Does your cat water ski? Are you prone to groin injury? Start videotaping your life and you may have $10,000 coming your way.
1) Silver Oak Casino Bonus Codes– Of course, my favorite. Just enter a coupon online, and voila! Free green. To claim your free cash now, take a look at the casino promotions at Silver Oak and start playing some online casino games now!